


Seen This Before

by McRaider



Series: Beautiful Boy AU [2]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Bobby Nash Being a Dad, Buck isn't very good at feelings, Episode s03e15 Eddie Begins, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Neither is Eddie, Worried Bobby Nash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:41:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24043780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McRaider/pseuds/McRaider
Summary: Bobby knew what anguish and despair looked like, he’d seen it enough in his line of work, but he’d felt it as well, he knew exactly what he was seeing as he watched his boy dig at the dirt.
Relationships: Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: Beautiful Boy AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1734391
Comments: 9
Kudos: 254





	Seen This Before

**Author's Note:**

> So I’m writing Beautiful Boy and out of that have come these little one shot ideas, and how could I not? I love Buck so much and this latest episode was so beautiful and painful. You don’t need to read Beautiful Boy to understand this (obviously as it isn’t all posted yet), you just need to know Bobby was much younger when his family died and he adopted Buck and Maddie when he was around 30 and he’s been married to Athena since then too.

Life was, in a word, tumultuous, being a firefighter was no easy job, Bobby knew what anguish was he knew what despair looked like. Not just because he’d seen enough of it in his line of work, but because memories flashed before him like an out of date camera reel. A little blonde boy and girl giggling, followed by a much younger Bobby desperately clawing to get into his apartment.

It was history repeating itself, only this time, it was his son, and Buck had done nothing wrong to deserve this cruelty. It had all happened in a flash of lightning and a painful crack of thunder, one minute Bobby had been giving instructions, and the next minute he felt the heat of an explosion behind him before he was thrown to the ground, Buck above him.

He rolled over to hear his son screaming Eddie’s name, frantically clawing at the mud with his hands at the whole that had now collapsed inward. Bobby eyed the scene, as much as he hated what he was about to do, he knew it was necessary. A panicked firefighter would just scare everyone else. “Buck,” he called as he grabbed his son from behind and under his arms, pulling him back. “Buck, come on,” he spoke over the rain.

He felt his grown son collapse against him, breath coming in gasps and pants against the cold air, blue eyes met brown and it was like a stab to Bobby’s heart at what he saw there, the barest glimpse of hopelessness.

“Help me get him inside!” Bobby ordered, as he once again put his arms under Buck’s and lifted, Chimney coming to help as they all headed inside the warm house to regroup and figure out what to do next.

“No, no, what about Eddie,” Buck tried to fight against his dad and Chimney, but the hands that stayed with him were strong ones.

“Give me a minute,” Bobby told the other rescue workers and local ordinance as he gently manhandled Buck up the stairs of the large country home.

Hen stepped out of one of the rooms, closing it behind her as she looked at Buck and Bobby, “The boy’s fine, little hypothermic, I’ve started a warm drip to help get him rehydrated and start warming him inside out. His mother is going to stay with him, are you two okay?”

Bobby gave his friend a look that seemed to shout definitely not before he pushed Buck gently into the bathroom and sat his sodden boy on the toilet seat. Then, kneeling down in his own wet and muddy gear, he began to gently remove Buck’s helmet and gloves.

“Look at me kid,” Bobby whispered, his voice rough from shouting all night over the rain.

“He…he can’t be dead,” Buck murmured shaking his head.

Hen’s eyes widened from where she stood in the doorway, before stepping further inside and grabbing a cloth, she ran it under warm water and moved over to Buck’s other side. “What that the explosion I heard?” she asked. Bobby just nodded grimly, before he rubbed his thumb over Buck’s cheek.

“No one thinks he is, we just have to regroup, kiddo.”

“Dad…” it was unusual to hear from Buck’s mouth, not because Buck never said it, but because Buck worked hard to maintain a level of professionalism at the fire station, Bobby wasn’t his father, he was his Captain at work and his dad at home, it was that simple.

But at this moment, it wasn’t Bobby’s subordinate who needed reassurance, it was his lost little boy who was finally realizing what that warm fuzzy feeling at the center of his chest was every time he saw Eddie.

Bobby glanced back at Hen before he gently cupped his son’s face in both his hands, “Look at me, Evan,” he whispered, the use of his kid’s first name got the desired attention. Hazy blue eyes cleared slightly and stared into his. Sure they were still watery and filled with despair, but they were more aware and awake now. “Hope isn’t lost. I know what you’re feeling right now, even if you don’t and I promise you, it’s going to be okay. But right now Eddie doesn’t need the terrified man who loves him, what he needs is his best friend who also happens to be an incredible firefighter, do you understand?”

A tear slipped from Buck’s eye, which Bobby thumbed away, “Yes sir,” Buck whispered.

“Good boy, take another minute or two to compose yourself, you’re allowed to be upset and scared. Meet us back downstairs when you’re ready, okay?”

With a nod from Buck, Bobby stood following Hen towards the bathroom door to give Buck some privacy. “Dad,” came the shaky whisper.

Bobby looked back over his shoulder, “Yeah?”

“Is…that…is that what this is? This gnawing pain that feels like someone just…”

“Ripped your heart out of your chest and buried it about 40 feet down, yeah kid. That’s exactly what that feeling is. And when we’ve got Eddie back and he’s safe and healthy, maybe you can tell him how you feel.”

Buck just nodded, waiting as Bobby and Hen stepped out and closed the door behind them.

The sight of Eddie slowly forcing one leg in front of the other as he staggered forward was something Bobby was certain he’d never forget, the shock on his son’s face as they both moved forward to catch him. The pure and utter relief Bobby felt was reflected tenfold in his son’s eyes.

They bustled Eddie into the back of the ambulance quickly, starting him with heating blankets and a warm saline drip like the boy. Buck remained at Eddie’s side the whole time until he couldn’t anymore as he was wheeled back to get a closer look over any injuries. Hen assured both the Captain and Buck that Eddie was fine, and would likely not even be kept overnight, but it didn’t stop Buck from nervously fidgeting beside his Captain as the clocked ticked by and they waited for a nurse to come to get him.

A gentle hand, some light pressure to the bouncing knee, and Buck stilled his hyperactive motions, “Sorry,” Buck murmured.

Bobby smirked, the apology was all too familiar from his boy, as a child with ADHD Buck had been a constant stream of motion, but they’d learned and they’d adapted. It was no surprise to Bobby now that Buck’s body was trying desperately to push all that excess energy and anxiety out.

“You don’t need to apologize, he’s safe. This feeling over fear and overwhelming loss will pass,” Bobby assured.

Buck was quiet for a moment before he turned and looked over at Bobby, “How did you do it? I thought he was gone for all of twenty minutes and I thought my world was going to end.”

Bobby looked down at his hands for a long minute, his heart in his throat, “At first I didn’t think I had a choice, I had to make amends for all the lives I destroyed. Then as I started getting help and getting better, met your mom, I realized I could be more than that. I fell in love again and was given a second chance at fatherhood. I miss Bobby and Brooke every day, and you being here will never replace that ache I feel, but it helps. Embracing this feeling you have, that you may not totally understand may help you. You have to be open to the fear of not knowing, the fear of loss if you want to experience the joys of love and parenthood.”

“That’s what this is?”

Bobby smirked and shrugged, “I can’t really tell you that, you have to figure that out on your own. All I can do is encourage you to think about your mom and me, and how our relationship looks, what you’ve seen over the years. Do you feel those same things, experience those same small joys and the same sadness when the other half of you does?”

“Yes,” Buck whispered, “When…when I thought I’d lost Christopher,” Buck swallowed heavily and shook his head. “It felt like I’d lost my boy too.”

Bobby reached back and pressed a warm hand to his son’s back, “I think you have your answer then kid.”

“And if he doesn’t feel the same?”

“You’ll never know if you don’t tell him, but if he doesn’t, then at least you were honest and you know he will always be your best friend.”

Before Buck could nod, a nurse stepped out and gave them a smile, waving them forward. Buck gave him a hesitant nod, “I…thanks,” he whispered before he stood and followed the woman back to the small exam rooms. “How is he?”

“He’s going to be just fine, he’s already reached the necessary temperature for us to be comfortable sending him home tonight. We would encourage him have someone there tonight in case he has any odd symptoms, but we don’t expect any trouble.”

Buck nodded his thanks as she pushed back the curtain. Eddie was seated in a chair beside the hospital bed, slipping his shoes on, shoes that Athena had brought from the firehouse as soon as she’d heard what had happened. “Hey,” Buck whispered, nervously as he shifted from one foot to the other.

Eddie glanced up and gave his friend a wide smile, “I’ve never been so happy to see your stupid face,” joked Eddie as he slowly stood, giving himself an extra moment to remain stable before he stepped forward and pulled Buck into a warm and solid hug.

Buck clung tight for a minute, unable to let go as he buried his face into his best friend’s shoulder. He took in the smell of wet soil that had been wiped away, disinfectant from his minor scrapes, and the smell that was distinctly Eddie. All at once, it hit him, like a torrential wave of water flooding over him as he felt the pain of the choked sob. “I thought I’d lost you,” he sobbed.

“Me too, I’m so sorry,” Eddie whispered. “I’m so sorry,” he murmured again as he squeezed a little tighter to his friend.

As Buck slowly pulled away he studied the beautiful dark brown eyes, “I…” Buck closed his eyes, and let his instincts guide him as he leaned into Eddie’s space, their lips meeting. Eddie was still at first, unsure it seemed, but a second later he began to kiss Buck back.

Hands moved to Buck’s waist, as Eddie deepened the kiss, both men pouring all their love and fear into the single moment, before finally they pulled apart, both breathing heavily. Eddie chuckled after a moment, letting his head lean against Buck’s. “Me too, amor, me too.”

End


End file.
